How I Met Your Mother Finale: The Almost Perfect Ending

    This post is a bit late, but after getting some referrals to my blog from Crowdini, I figured I needed to write a new blog post, and this has been on my mind for a while.

*SPOILERS FOR THE FINAL EPISODE OF HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER AND THE REST OF THE SHOW*

    Everyone jumped on the hate train saying how awful the finale for How I Met Your Mother was, and I have to say, I see why people think that. It was a hugely eventful, rushed hour of details, twists, and many, many feels. It isn't surprising in the slightest why everyone thinks finale is awful, and "ruined" the show.

    Sure, shows that focus around a central mystery such as this one hinge on answering that question, and delivering a satisfying ending. If the tv show "Lost" never delivered answers to all the questions they posed, people would have been pissed (maybe not more so than they already were). So for Carter Bay and Craig Thomas, the main people behind this show, to give you this finale to a 9 season show that supposedly shit's all over your notions of happy endings, answered questions, and overall story resolutions, it seems like an insult. I get the anger, devoted fans staying with a show this long, especially after some criticism that it stayed passed its welcome, just to give you this controversial ending, it hurts.

   Not to be full of myself, but here is why those feelings are misplaced, and in truth this ending is almost perfect.

    First and foremost, if a bad ending "ruined" a show, you are watching it wrong. Again, as I previously mentioned, I get that the title of a show asks a question, so answering and resolving the question is a huge part of the show and its draw. But there are numerous blogs showing that it isn't completely about Tracy (The mother). And that last link is an article saying why the ending of the show failed. It's good to read both sides of a debate.

    How I Met Your Mother is about so much more than the Mother. First off, it was a show about Ted. More specifically, it was about how he became the person he needed to be to meet his future wife. If Ted met Tracy in any other part of the show, he wouldn't have been the right person to be with Tracy, and they would have never married. Ted learned so much throughout the show, about destiny, friendship, not doing stupid stuff after 2am, and by the end of the show, it made him the right person to finally meet and fall in love with his wife to be. It was about his journey.

    A 9+ year journey is another thing the show was about. This is why future Ted (Bob Saget) so long to tell this story. It's again about his transformation, but it is also about the transformation of his friends, and their group as a whole. Why do people watch TV shows? It isn't about patiently waiting for the ending of the show (though if is an amazing show, that can be a part of it). You enjoy each episode, each story, each arc, the jokes, the characters, the pineapple, and of course, the mysteries. Even if a show has a bad ending, I'm not going to look back at the whole series and suddenly regret it. I wasn't watching HIMYM purely to find out how it ends. Sure, that was a huge part, but I still love almost every episode for giving me an enjoyable experience.

    Now, to actually defend the ending, in more ways than the previous paragraphs.

    A common argument that actually has some merit is that the show spent so much time saying why Ted and Robin shouldn't end up together, and they spent a full season about Robin and Barney's wedding. It is true that Ted and Robin kept playing with the idea of getting back together, and ultimately thought it was a bad idea, and I can see why people think this should be true.

    But the finale season truly showed us why Robin and Barney shouldn't be together, and why Ted and Robin should.

    Robin and Barney have always seemed to be more of friends with benefits than husband and wife material. When Barney first realizes how much of a "bro" Robin can be in a very early episode "Zip, Zip Zip" S1E14, it kind of cements what their relationship is like. They are alike in many ways, in such a way that they are good friends. They both like Scotch and Cigars, elegant clothing and some of the finer things in life. In "The Fortress of Barnitude" S8E19, Robin at first wants to sell the place that has all of Barney's quirks, but ultimate says they should keep it. Every feature in there is a total "bro" feature of Barney. You learn over the course of the show that almost every feature of that apartment is something of Barney's that Robin would hate, in a romantic sense. His porn collection, the lid that automatically raises, all the Star Wars memorabilia. Robin is accepting all these features of a guy that is a man whore, who lies and never commits, and who is straight out weird.

    Okay, Robin can accept these features, but about the features where it matters, Robin and Barney do not get along. One of the biggest things that mattered to Robin in the final season is that Barney is a liar. Even when Barney can't tell a lie because he is so drunk "Unpase" S9:E15, Barney still manages to lie about the Ring Bear (That, or he got it after the fact, which isn't much better). In "Sunrise", S9E17, Barney reverts back to his old ways, teaching some new blood about the ways of the "player", how they could live his previous lifestyle. He still was holding onto a form of the playbook as well, something Robin absolutely hated. In "Last Forever" S9:E23/24, Robin wanted to move on with her life, to focus on her career (like she has done many times in the past), and Barney wants to live a stagnant life (like he has done many times in the past) and it shows, among other things, that they were really never destined to be together. Everything Robin wants romantically, Barney for the most part can't or won't provide, and who they are deep down do not connect. It was shown throughout the show this wouldn't work out, but it was especially emphasized in the final season. They were just not meant to be.

   And now why Ted and Robin deserved to be together. If you recall in the very first episode, as this daily quirk article explains, everything was about Robin.  “…that’s the funny thing about destiny, it happens whether you plan it or not. I mean, I never thought I’d see that girl again, but it turns out I was just too close to the puzzle to see the picture that it was forming. Because that, kids, is the true story of how I met your Aunt Robin.” They spent a whole season on the chase, a season of dating, and several seasons about the repercussions of the break up. It took 9 seasons for Ted to "get over her", and in the end, couldn't.

    Whether it was due to his insane love for Robin, or just true kinship to another human being, Ted's acts in the final season showed how romantically they are connected. Robin wants the locket, Ted goes nuts finding the locket. Robin wants someone to be there for him, Ted is constantly supporting her during all the problems this wedding is having. Robin wants someone who won't tell significant lies, or potentially "player" ways.. Well Robin doesn't have to worry about that, because that isn't who Ted is. Ted by character is naturally a "dad". He was meant to be a dad. He is loving, caring, goofy, romantic guy. Though Ted and Robin differ on a lot of personal things, when it comes down to it, they seem to be a match romantically with everything except kids, which plays a huge point in all of this.

    If Robin and Ted were destined to be together, why not have them marry and why even include the mother? Because if Ted never had kids, he could never marry Robin. Now, I don't mean to minimize Tracy's importance, she is much more than the mother of Ted's kids, and I'll talk more about her in a bit, but in a way, that is what she is. Ted and Robin could never have gotten married because Robin couldn't have kids, and that would never work for Ted. Like I said, he is a dad by nature, and without having the kids fulfill part of his life, it would have never worked. Robin also needed to follow her career. She has always made it a point about how important her career is, and if Ted and some kids tied her down, she wouldn't have fulfilled her life either. Barney was perfect for that part too. They all played their roles to help them progress into who they needed to be. Even though Robin and Barney's marriage went to the dumps, it still enabled Robin to do what she wants to do, even if it hurt.

    While this is happening, Ted and Tracy have their lives and are completely happy. If Tracy didn't died, he wouldn't be missing out on his destiny. They truly were meant to be together, as shown by how perfect they were together. Almost everyone grew to love Tracy in the final season, which is why so many people felt betrayed when she died. It was awful that she died, and Ted truly did experience a horrific loss, but it wasn't about her. In the future, Ted is talking about his life, the progress they all have made through it, and where he currently is. Ted became the person he needed to be to be a dad, and now he is the person he needs to be to finally be with Robin, even if he didn't intend for the whole story to turn out that way.

    Tracy, while not playing a huge part, did play her part, both as the mother of Ted's children, and Ted's wife. She was her own character, who we quickly grew to love, and were sad to see her go, but she was just another step in the rest of the groups lives. After many years of grieving and getting over the loss of her, Ted finally could move on to the only other person he was meant to be with. And that is why this ending really does work.

  Now for the caveats. It is "Almost" perfect for a number of reasons. As many people say, and I have to agree, the ending was a bit rushed. They threw so much at us within an hour, I didn't know how to respond at first. There was enough material for a whole season there, and they glossed over so many details. Honestly, I am okay with it though, to an extent, because a lot of it would have loss some of the impact if we slowly learned about it over the course of a season. Such as Tracy's death, it was not meant to be a focus of the story. Ted isn't celebrating how that story line ended, but how it led him to that point, where he is telling the story, and if it was told over a season, it would have felt much different. It wouldn't about how he subconsciously wants to be with Robin, but how in the end he misses Tracy. Sure I am sure he does, and if he was telling this story to his kids shortly after her death, the whole show would have been different. But the fact that it is many years after the death, makes the shortness of many of the scenes make sense. He already is who he needs to be, so there is little need to focus on it.

   Again, I still wish there was a little more detail and time on the events. Despite how they play into the flow of the story, and how it fits with the ending, it is impossible for it to not feel rushed, and feel like we missed out on a lot, though I don't know what alternative would work. I wouldn't have liked a season of jumping around and depression, which we would totally get if the last episode was a whole season.

   Second, and the only other point I really didn't like about the ending, is Barney. They completely destroyed everything about his character. He gained absolutely nothing from the events of the entire series, shown by his reversal to his previous self, his transformation into a new person by the birth of his kid felt entirely rushed, more so than the whole episode, and his resolution of character felt misplaced. I do not feel like he should be here, and gotten there from where he was, by the series of events shown. Carter Bay and Craig Thomas are masterful writers, planning almost everything out far in advanced, and for so much planning, you'd think that Barney would flow into something a little better than what he got.

   In the end though, I still think it was a great ending, which really did fit in with everything the show set up for the viewers. And if I didn't change your mind about the ending, and still think it was awful, that's okay. We're all entitled to our own opinions, and clearly there is room for support on the hate train. I just ask that you don't let it affect your opinion of the show as a whole. This whole series was a journey, and beyond realizing that maybe the destination wasn't as good as you were hoping, the ride you went on was still a fantastic one, and that's how you should remember it.

A Plagiarized Love Story

A Plagiarized Love Story

30/1/2011

Derek wouldn't let me outside today.

I sit in this blinding room of caged solitude, having nothing but the faint glimmer of sunlight, these words, and my love for you, to keep me sane. As I write these words, I eagerly await the visit of my kids I never had; lamenting the societal mandated visit, wishing they were fucking their lover’s bloody brains out instead.

Listen to me, sounding like I always feared.

Maybe it's for the best I never had kids. They would have turned out that way; George and Elizabeth would've been little shits.

But with no forced visits, I spend another day, week, month, year, millennium, or maybe just another day by myself. This wasted time makes me regret not writing a fourth book.

Or it makes me regret writing the third.

4/2/2011

There's a common phrase that goes something like “Finding love in all the wrong places”  or some generic  saying like that, from the cesspool of forget me now phrases. Strangely enough, I identify more with a cliché than anything else, besides you of course. It means more to me than my lucky typewriter with most of the original parts replaced, more than my Pulitzer Prize for my second book, The Road. My money would be would be here, but it ceased being mine a long time ago.

That saying is my life; it is making me insane. My mom always said I would be a “nutter”, that it runs in the family. Certainly nothing or no one runs in our family, but maybe that's something else I'm wrong about. “Why don't you find someone nice and settle down?”, she always nagged. At the time, I thought it was Kai... We were ready for it too. My first two books were doing great, I was done touring, and we reached our fourth year in our relationship. Kai always joked that if my publisher dropped me, we would become broken and homeless together. Well, I am broke, but this place isn't the right environment for love.

 And I certainly can't settle down with you. There are difficult, maybe impossible boundaries that extinguish any hope I have. But that doesn't stop me from always thinking about it.

I'm going to have to talk to Derek. He was completely wrong, writing is not helping me at all.

14/4/2011

Love and lament are strange feelings. When love goes wrong, it becomes just like lament. Two completely separate and different entities become one, inseparable and indistinguishable.  How I long for that kind of companionship, even if I will lament it later. It's something more than anyone I have known had to offer me, including family, my old Oxford buddies and flatmates... and Kai..

Valentine’s Day was never really the most celebrated “holiday” back where I grew up, in Sevenoaks. It was more of a forced tradition, than anything. At Oxford, it was hit or miss. I remember seeing this one giving his gal a romantic picnic in the middle of a courtyard, and my friend Daisy gagged. What's worse is that she was cheating on him with a professor. She got kicked out, and he got fired. Personally, at first I thought Valentines day was forced American dribble. If I knew what would happen to me, I  would have had a reason to gag too, but now I would give anything to have a picnic, or even just spend time with you. Haven't I given up enough? 

18/5/2011

I met with Derek today. All the help he tried to give me was hard to swallow. My obsession over you is “unrealistic” and “I'm only hurting myself”. Has he never been in love? The emptiness that is his ring finger must echo the hollow cavity that is his heart, for how else can he lecture me on the troubles of loving someone that will never love me back, and not even flinch?  

I tried to persuade to him how much I really do love you, explaining that you give me purpose, in a normally purposeless world, and that I would be nothing, figuratively and literally, without you. Derek's hand returned to the crevice that he created in his forehead, just from face palming too much. I know he is just trying to help, and I tell him that I really do want to get better, and move on, it's just too hard. 

It's just that he isn't writing the story here, I am, or so I think. 

23/5/2011

My...associate... Fellow inhabitant of this living establishment, Jane told me that there was positively no chance for a walk today, that it was raining too much. Jane is full of rubbish though, and I never quite liked her.  She makes a grand plot of things, when there is very little happening. 

Plus, I do enjoy the rain. Walking through the tacky, Victorian styled courtyard of our complex, the rain drenches my clothing. Though this makes the walk harder, there's something about the struggle that's invigorating. Each step through the downpour, I fight the self-inflicted burden which has encapsulated me. Looking up into the clouds, and I can almost see your face... That is if I knew what you looked like. Despite not knowing anything about what you look like, and knowing that I never will, I can't help but be infatuated with you. Whenever you look at me, you look for the deeper meaning. You read my subtext, and despite my obvious flaws, you see the true me. What more can one ask for?

Well, besides for my life to not be in shambles. That would be nice too.

Also, for Derek to stop giving me pills that don't work. Derek is a real cunt like that.

16/6/2011

Kai came to visit me today. We were at an awkward sitting, standing situation, Kai not able to shuffle towards my bed, where I sat, unwilling to look up.

“You look … well...” mumbled  Kai, both of staring down at the ground, hoping to catch a glimpse of each other’s eyes in the reflection of the moldy, linoleum floor. It's dirty enough where I couldn't be sure, but clean enough to pretend. 

Another millennium passes between words. There's plenty to talk about, beyond the general small talk of weather and lies, but the intensity grows heavier, locking in the unspoken. After finally gathering the courage to tell Kai about you, for some resolution in our respective lives, a goodbye is said, and I'm alone. Very underwhelming.

On my desk, there's a letter. It's from Kai. I refuse to read it, because I know what it says. Oh, I've found someone else, you should do the same, even though it's been years since we've been together. I guess no one can surmise my situation. I would feel pity myself too. In fact, I do, because my love for you is impossible. Impossible to act on, but not to believe in. That's all I can really do. This hole that I've dug myself into, fills with rain and despair. I'm not sure which one will drown me first. As much as I want to get out, and move on with my life, you are keeping my head above water, but nothing else.

I put the letter in the trash, because I never want to confirm what I already know.

14/2/2012

It's been a while since my last entry. I thought I threw this story out, after it made me feel worse and worse about myself. Plus I gave up on any hope of you reciprocating my feelings towards you. 

Derek told me a couple of decades or minutes ago that I should get transferred to a more serious psych ward, one with electroshock therapy. The medications he's been giving me over the past year have not been doing anything for me, and that this may be my only hope in getting better. I may be crazy in love, but any opportunity to feel better must be taken. I asked him for a few days or eons to prepare.

Final anythings are tough. Final exams final goodbyes, final chapters... It's the last part in an event that will help determine what happens to you, them, or whoever is involved. In my case, this is the last thing you will get of me, before we part ways forever. My last chance to say how I truly feel about you, the reader. You will read this, and make your judgments. Do my ramblings impress you, or just turn you away? Am I a superbly round character in my fictional life, or just a throwaway? Whatever you may think about me in the end, remember that I will always love you. The beautiful way that you turn my pages, ever curious to what happens next to me. Each line you read pierces down into me like arrows from Cupid's bow. Your coordinated attack leaves me mumbling like an idiot, defeated. Whether they are Cupid's arrows , forever connecting our love, or Artemis striking down my God-like desires, is left to be determined.

Everyone may think I'm crazy, but I know how I feel. And I can't stand to feel this way anymore. The fact that we can never be together hurts more than anything, more than my unintentionally plagiarized novel, which started the spiral that got me here. More than Kai leaving me,  without even telling me why.

I found love in the wrong place. You may even love me back, like so many fictional characters before me, wishing I was real. You may love me, even though you don't know my name.

Or maybe you will think I'm full of shit.

I am real, I'm not crazy, just simply a fictional character. That doesn't change the very real things you feel about me... but we can never be together, so I gave this story to Derek, and he reluctantly agreed to hand it off to you. For what good does that do? I don't know, but I think it's better to have my story told, however bad, than not told at all. Unfortunately, again my life revolves around clichés, but as they say, it's better to love and lost, than not love at all, or so they say, and so I say. 

I'm not crazy, I promise. I'm just in love, but I can't love you anymore.

Proteus: A love story

It's been around half a year since I have posted something on my blog. I'm not the most motivated person if you could tell. There have been plenty of posts I've been meaning to write, but just too damn lazy and/or unmotivated to write. Here are a few of the ideas I have thought about:

- Comparison between new Paper Mario game and new Luigi's Mansion Game
- An honest, somewhat unbiased report on the PS4/XBone fight
- A new short story (which I've finished, just needs some touch ups)
- Rants upon rants
- A cracked article (On Cracked.com obviously)

And other ideas that I probably forgot about, lost to the endless black hole which is my mind. I had enough content to finish each one, but just nothing to push me; nothing to make me sit down in front of my laptop, avoid the endless choices of what is possible, yet unproductive, and finish something worthwhile.

Yet I just finished my first play through of the indie game Proteus. The first thing I did when I finished the game (it took a mere 45 minutes according to my roommate, more explanation later), I sat staring at my screen for a minute or so. I was flabbergasted. A slow survey of my room left me with no answers to the questions I was asking. Proteus left me with absolutely no concept of time. I got up, slowly stumbled to my roommates in the living room, and asked them how long has it been since I borrowed their headphones so I could play the game properly. It had only been 45 minutes.

After gracefully evacuating my bowels, I sat down at my laptop, and I knew what I must do; write down the impression this game left me with, which brings us to this article.

A short 45 minute game immersed me more than anything in my entire life. No video game, movie or book has done such an impressive job to put me into the world. What makes this even more impressive is that the entire game is in 2D... well sort of. Here is a screen shot of the game, about a few minutes in.

You move in three dimensions, in a world where everything is in two dimensions. All two dimensional structures follow the "always watching you" rotation so you never see an object as just a line. With such a beautiful world, exploring is the first thing you want to do. What makes this game unique, compared to most games, is that this is all you do. There is no plot, no characters (except for yourself), no names, no quests, you can't run, jump, or even use an action button. All there is movement, which means all you can do is explore.

At first, this can be jarring. Gamers are so used to following a plot line, or a specific path, that full exploration and no path guidelines can make the game seem like it has no content. Even games like Skrim still have a main story, even if you completely ignore it. Despite being able to spend hours just exploring, there are still concrete things that you can do. Once you get  past being awestruck at the in game world, what does Proteus have to offer?

Grandeur, fantasy, mystery, emotion, immersion. These are a few things that come to mind when thinking about this game. Your journey starts off like any new RPG world; curiosity of what the world is like. "Wow, this world is so beautiful! Look off in the distance, I probably can go ovIS THAT A BUTTERFLY? I'M GOING TO CATCH IT!" (My first experience in Skyrim). Instead of doing what I should be doing, like saving the world, exploration is the most enticing opportunity that presents itself. In Proteus, I have no idea what I should be doing, if anything, but damn it, exploration is still the most enticing. As the game develops, the enigmatic world makes you wonder. What is this world about, did I see everything I should see, or did I miss everything? How do I game? I asked this all while playing.

Some explanation of my gaming set up, during the play through is in order. I played this game on my laptop, at night, with my lights off, with a good set of headphones on. If any of you play this game, I recommend the same set up. The darkness is a great contrast to the vibrant colors of the world, and the nice headphones make the constant flux of the evolving soundtrack a much more complete experience (More on the soundtrack later)

At first, I wasn't too into the game, and I was completely aware that I am a guy, sitting at his desk, playing a game. By the end though, all I could notice was the brightly lit computer screen, surrounded by blackness. I knew that there was no way I could stop playing. To loosely quote Inception, I had to go deeper. There were parts that made me twitch, parts that scared me, parts that made me have a stupidly big grin on my face. There were many parts that made me talk to myself/the screen. At one point, I was tearing up, and I couldn't tell why. Constantly, I wondered about this incomprehensible world, and what secrets it holds, yet I know I shouldn't rush back to it, because it wouldn't be the same.

Honestly, that is the only downfall I see in this game. Nothing is going to be as magical as that first experience. I know I am going to go back and try to find everything (if there is more to find). I couldn't tell you as of now if that the game is truly free form and many things can happen in the world, or if the developers are masters at taking you down this one path of a "story". I put story in quotes because 1. there is no plot and 2. I feel like I could have been lead down a path. But if it indeed is a path, you arrive at that path, and travel it how you want, and who knows what I may find on that path, when I travel it again.

The graphics, while are not "next gen graphics", it is still wonderfully done. It's a stylized experience, making you experience a world that most are hardly well versed in. The colors feel alive in this game. Sometimes I would stop moving just to admire a beautiful view. Each time you play, the world is different, though there have to be some constants that will always appear in some place, beyond simple scenery and wildlife. The lack of physical interaction makes some of these constants feel empty, but what it lacks in this department, it makes up in the sound department.

If the beauteous world is half of the reason why this game works so well, the soundtrack is the other half. The soundtrack is the graphic's muse. As with an ever changing world with constants, so is the soundtrack eve changing, with constants. Chickens will make the same noises all the time, but when you encounter them, if at all, always changes. Your movements, what you are looking at, or what you pass by, all adds to the soundtrack of the game. The closest thing I can think of to a game that does this is Rez. Each thing you destroy in Rez, adds to the games overall soundtrack. Well, how your exploration goes also adds to the soundtrack. For every mountain climbed, odd stone passed, and cute animal chased, a piece is added to the music. It may fade away as quickly as it entered, or it may stay with you until it is no longer needed. A soundtrack like this makes the world it encompasses.

Proteus is a breath of fresh of air in today's gaming industry. In ways, it regresses the "progress" that modern games are making, while still keeping the graphical and technological limits that are given by the progress. It's a bewitching game that answers no questions that are not searched by a Google query. After one play through, you may be done with Proteus, or your journey may just be starting, but breaking your Proteus cherry is sure to be something you will never forget. It's Proteus: A love story.

"The Portrait of Dorian Gray", and ethics

    This is a paper for an english class I had to write. Even though I wrote it a day before it was do, I was quite pleased with it, or at least I was then. I haven't reread it since. I am posting it here 

     Dorian Gray is a cynical, hedonist, who in the end, is defeated by his hubristic lifestyle, and a possible change of heart. He becomes the culmination of Lord Henry’s philosophies, and it slowly ruins the lives around him, until it starts falling in on him. These philosophies of Lord Henry, and Dorian Gray, basically encompass the idea of l’art pour l’art, or art for art’s sake. The Portrait of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde has a famous preface that is his own take on l’art pour l’art. He argues that art is done for itself, is true in form, free from morals, and other statements of that nature. Wilde also claims that "there is no such thing as morals or an immoral book” (Wilde Preface), yet, this story seemingly goes against this idea, by having the characters embody this principle, and show the fall and unraveling of their lives because of it. Though this may seem like this contradicts the preface, that living that kind of life did this, but in reality, we are still putting our opinions and morals into the story. The preface warns us "Those who go beneath the surface do so at their own peril. Those who read the symbol do so at their own peril". We are trying to go beneath the surface, to find this moral that is presented, and we are getting mad that it contradicts what is said in the preface, but we are indeed doing it at our own peril. There is no contradiction between the preface and the novel, because, as disclaimers do, it warns us about what humans natural do when given a piece of art, and we try to attribute more to it then there is actually there. In The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde, the ideas and concepts presented in the preface do not contradict the rest of the novel, through its defining of art, and more specifically, novels.

     When discussing topics like art and morality, it is hard not to get into general philosophy, since they are essentially one in the same. People can talk and debate about philosophy almost endlessly, and enjoy it too. We can see this take place a lot in the novel as well, between Lord Henry, Dorian Gray, and Basil Hallward. Lord Henry’s philosophies are basically what cause the rest of the book. He is the epitome of the preface. Many times throughout the book, he will monologue about his ideas on beauty, society, art, and other topics. One example of this is when Henry defends himself against Basil during an argument, “I make a great difference between people. I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects” (Wilde 11). To tie that quote in with the preface, we have this line “Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault. Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are cultivated. For these there is hope” (Preface), which explains Henry’s and Dorian’s friendship really well. Throughout the book, Dorian Grey is described as incredibly beautiful. At first, he is considered innocent, but with Henry’s influence, and a mystical wish, he remains beautiful as his soul becomes dark. According to the preface, Dorian’s dark soul should not matter, because he is beautiful. Henry chooses him as a friend because of his beauty, and since he is finding Dorian’s inner beauty because of his outer beauty, he is doing well. Lord Henry even explains this. After learning about Dorian’s background, he says “Yes; it was an interesting background. It posed the lad, made him more perfect as it were” (33). Even though Dorian has such a complex and dark background, he is still beautiful to Henry. And when Dorian leads his own life down a spiraling path, Henry still continues to watch and approve of what he does. In this essence, there is no contradiction between the preface and novel.

     Basil Hallward is a character that also embodies the preface, but in a different way. While Henry is the preface in almost every way, Basil is the opposite. He detests almost everything Henry says. The only connection to the preface he has is him with his art. Basil becomes so obsessed with Dorian, his beauty, and the art he wants to make, that it will eventually put a strain on their relationship. Basil explains to Henry “What the invention of oil-painting was to the Venetians… and the face of Dorian Gray will some day be to me…his personality has suggested to me an entirely new manner of art” (12). This idea fits in with several ideas in the preface. The first line says “The artist is the creator of beautiful things” (preface), and since Dorian is a beautiful man, he is a creator of beautiful things. But it isn’t only that, it is much more. Basil is so captivated by Dorian, that on a metaphysical level, he believes he created a new form of art. “The critic is he who can translate into another manner or a new material his impression of beautiful things” (preface), and that is exactly what Basil, at least believes he does. Basil is consumed by the beauty of Dorian, the portrait almost captures that essence of beauty, and Basil becomes the aforementioned critic. This connection between the preface and novel mirrors what Oscar Wilde is trying to accomplish. Wilde’s preface presents the idea that he has seen the true essence of art, or at least just literary forms, and in writing this books that is all about the preface, creates the art that the preface mentions. Wilde creates a book where l’art pour l’art is the main theme, and this book is in the same vain as its story. The complexity here almost borders on meta-fiction. Through this part of the preface and novel, we see that there again, is no contradiction between the novel and preface.

     One of the biggest things, and the most controversial about this topic, is the concept of morality, and its connection to the book. How can a book that claims art for art’s sake is correct, then show the same idea ruin the lives of many people, be right? Dorian, Henry, and Basil all believe in l’art pour l’art in some way, shape or form, and it ruins the lives of two of them. Basil dies because of the principle, even though it is because Dorian’s own personal take on the idea, rather than Basil’s take. But you could argue that Basil’s philosophy on it lead him to the point of his own death, because if he wasn’t so obsessed with Dorian’s beauty, and the creation of this “new form” of art, he would never have created the cursed portrait, and introduced him to Lord Henry, who believes in the most extreme version of art for art’s sake, that lead Dorian down a spiraling path that leads him to kill Basil. Not only does Basil die from Dorian’s hands, but so does Dorian himself. If Dorian never went down this path, which leads to the magical painting of him, he never would have gone mad and stabbed the portrait, which kills him. The only one that comes out unharmed is Lord Henry, and we do not find out what becomes of him after their deaths. But the way Lord Henry shrugs off everything else, one can speculate that it wouldn’t affect him much. The whole story might even entertain Henry. This whole book is morally corrupt, and it is all because of what the preface says about art, or so it may seem to many people.

     To tackle this issue, you need to compare and contrast the preface, and the concept of morality. Morality, or more commonly referred to in the philosophy world, ethics, is a widely debated topic. There is no one set definition, nor any set of answers to the many questions ethics poses. Ethics is commonly divided into three sub-categories: meta-ethics, normative ethics and applied ethics. Applied ethics is how people can achieve their moral goals in specific situations. Normative ethics is the moral questions people ask when they are thinking about how they should act. Meta-ethics is trying to understand the metaphysical concept of ethics, or how we define ethics in general. Meta-ethics is what applies the most to this dilemma.

     Every reader of a book has their own set of moral beliefs, and why they believe it, or how they came to that point, also differs. This is why people get different responses out of reading a novel, because they want to inflict their morals onto the supposed moral of the story. Though this is great, because it leads to intimate discussions of a novel, when trying to figure out what the author intended, it is a little different in the case of this particular novel. Right at the beginning, Oscar Wilde gives this particular view on art, and in it, he defines a part of morality, at least in applying it to literature. Wilde states “There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all” (preface), and this statement gives us everything we need to know. Morality, as applied to reading a book, doesn't exist. If we are looking for a moral in a book with supposed bad morals, we are doing it wrong. Wilde is suggesting that people should enjoy art for art’s sake, and like the book if it is well written, or dislike it if it is written poorly. When people are trying to say things like the preface contradicts the novel because it shows that the philosophy of l’art pour l’art is poisonous, and hurts people that believe in it, they are disregarding what he said at the beginning of a novel. This novel is written in the context of Wilde believe in this philosophy, and that is how it is formed. Sure, people can claim there are many readings of a book, but if an author makes a preface stating how his book, or all books should be read, at least applied to his own novel he shouldn't be wrong.

     Through these reason I have explained why the novel and preface do not contradict each other, but there lies a problem in this. As I quoted in the intro, about people reading into the book at their own discretion can apply to this paper too. By looking so deep into this book to defend the preface, it can be considered that I did the same. I went below the surface, and heavily analyzed this book, and in defense of the preface, I violated it. This is not done for art’s sake. So does l’art pour l’art defeat its own purpose? One can certainly argue that. Not only did this paper defeat the preface, but this book somewhat did the same. When The Picture of Dorian Gray first came out, the reception for it was terrible. People hated the book, thought it was slanderous and morally troubling, and overall it was not received well. It has undergone many edits, to the point where most people are not even reading the original version of the book when they read it. Wilde stuck to his belief, and he did “art for art’s sake”, by writing this book, but it didn't turn out well, and he went back on it by editing it multiple times. All this paints a confusing picture on the philosophy, but in the end, it doesn’t really matter. People can argue that l’art pour l’art is good or bad, and people can have many different moral standpoints on any topic they want, but it still doesn’t mean Wilde is wrong in believing his. He sets a book with a confusing preface, and the books follows that preface. It doesn’t matter that the morals in the book are bad, it still is okay in the eyes of Wilde. In the end, this whole topic can be summed up by the last line of the preface.

All art is quite pointless.

Déjà vu

I posted this on my facebook, but it is such a strange, that has left me in such a stupor, that I think it is worth posting on here, so other people can read it.

I just had the weirdest, surreal moment of my life. I am sitting in my bed, lights off, watching Torchwood on my laptop. It's really late, and I shouldn't be up because I have to wake up early in the morning. This inevitably will make me exhausted tomorrow. Because of how long I was looking at the screen, everything around me is completely black. I look up and stare for a few seconds, expecting to see my room back at my house. I envision it with my stare, but then it fades to my room in my apartment. Maybe it is because I have done this same thing, watching stuff on my laptop late at night while it is dark, so many times that I just subconsciously thought I was still at home, but it is one of the strangest occurrences that has ever happened to me. Looking up to expect to be in a place you have been all your life, and have it be a place you are barely familiar with. From something you know and understand, to something new and unfamiliar. 

Now I am left lying here, typing this, in a state of disbelief, mind whirling with questions that I can't answer, and may not even have one, wondering what I should do now. Is this what déjà vu feels like? If so, then I never want to feel it again. Because having your reality changed like that makes you... a bit crazy.

Or maybe that's just me.   

Why the concept of "Swears" doesn't make a lot of sense: A Language analysis

     Something I have thought a lot about recently is language. Language is a weird phenomenon, especially when you get into differences between countries, dialects, accents slang, and other things of that nature. One could discuss topics like this forever if they were inquisitive enough, (or just high).

    What has specifically peaked my interested, and in return, has pissed me off, is the concept of swear words. I am referring to the English language only while writing this, and this could or could not apply to other languages, or even different regions where they have different dialects. I am from the Chicago region, but our language is similar to most of the United States, minus a few different word choices here or there.

    Everyone is taught from an extremely young age that swear words are bad; that we should never say them. As we grow older, we think it makes us look and sound cool to say them, so to do that, and to rebel, we say swear words like crazy. TV and radio stations block most of these words, to the point where only movies, books and video games have them in them, and that is only because they have predetermined ratings that warn us.

    So what is so horrendous about these words, that we should never say them in public, lest we burn in hell, or at least a prison cell? 

    I honestly couldn't tell you. Their "reasoning" is that we shouldn't say these bad words, because these are bad words. Well of course it is doomed to be that way, with that set up. You deem it a bad word, and thus, it must always be a bad word? I don't know. The other rationale is that it means a bad thing, which is just bubkiss. 

    It is bubkiss for a number of reason. Here is a list of the major swearwords (and a few other words that are close)

• Ass
• Bitch
• Damn
• Fuck
• Shit
• Cunt
• Fag

    Let's look at the first one, which is ass. Ass is a swearword, yet it can still be said on TV and radio, so it is consider not as bad. A little kid can still get in trouble for saying this word though. What does it mean? It is a synonym for butt, stupid person, or mean person, (or a donkey). So we can say butt over and over again, and it's fine, but if we say ass, it is suddenly bad. What sense does that make?

    Now look at bitch. It means female dog, bad/mean woman, or some variation of bad/mean woman. I am not sure if this can be said on TV or radio, but I think it makes less sense. Let's assume you are not talking about a female dog. Why are you penalized for calling someone a bad/mean woman? You could literally say how horrible this one woman is in the most lengthy and intelligent way, and that isn't as bad as saying bitch. Honestly, there should be more focus on being insulted rather than "saying a bad word". That can apply to pretty much any of these swear words.

    Shit I think makes the least sense. It is a synonym of poo, or figuratively means something bad.  I know this one cannot be said on radio or TV. For the love of science, why? Why can't I say a word that literally means poo, or a bad occurrence? If I want to say on the radio how bad my life has been recently, I can't say "My life has been so shitty recently", yet I can say "my life has been horrible. It has been terrible, torturous, etc etc. The latter sounds more graphic, and saying "shitty" sounds more realistic in my opinion. Yet somehow that is bad. Or even better, if I see some dog poop on the ground, I could get in trouble for saying "Look at that shit!", but saying "look at that fecomatter" is completely fine!

    What is with that? I don't get that at all. At least if  you talk about a word like fuck, that makes sense. It has so many meanings, that it can mean any number of bad things. Fuck is the only word in the English language, that can be used as an adjective, noun, verb and adjective. You can make a complete sentence with it too. Fuck fucking fuckers, FUCK! With the versatility of the word, it makes sense that it is considered bad. Well, we are 1 out of 4 for swear words.

    Now I am going to to skip damn, and get to words which I don't technically believe are swear words, but are still considered bad words. Cunt and Fag. Cunt is a synonym for vagina, or bad/mean woman. Forget the misogynistic aspects of this word, we are blocking the the use of the word vagina. Granted, I wouldn't want my kid running around screaming cunt or vagina, but that is what it comes down to. I guess this is a word that you shouldn't even have any use for until you are older.

   Lastly, fag, which has the biggest shitstorm attached with it. It is a derogatory word, which originally meant a bundle of sticks, but now means a gay person, or much more loosely used as a bad person. People bring up the point "If you call someone a fag, that really isn't gay, you are bringing both him and the entire gay community down!" and other crap like that. I am not going to get into that much, because that just starts a flame war, but this one somewhat makes sense, though not in the normal sense. It shouldn't be a swear word just because you are calling someone a synonym for the word gay. If you want to know my stance on that debate, just watch this South Park clip. It gives the sense of what I think about it.  (http://youtu.be/H7C0vd-L5lg) 

    What it all should boil down to is not that the word is a "swear word", but the fact that you are using a word or statement against someone; an insult. If I say my ass hurts, I shouldn't get in trouble. If I take a poop, say that my shit smelled, I shouldn't get in trouble. What really should be the issue is personally attacking someone. If I call someone a cunt, they shouldn't be offended at the word cunt, but the fact that I am personally verbally attacking them. If a game gets called a fag over Modern Warfare, they shouldn't be mad that someone called them gay, but if anything, be mad some douchenozzle is insulting them in the first place.

    Is it an insult to be called gay? It shouldn't be. Is it an insult to be called a vagina? It shouldn't be. "Oh boy, you called me gay. You are so clever. I am so offended, because I am not gay at all. How could you even think that? I am totally straight!"

    Really, this is what the emphasis should be put on. Instead of teaching kids these lists of words that they shouldn't say, we should just teach them fucking manners, and how not to verbally attack people to begin with. Then if we can accomplish that, then maybe we can begin to deconstruct the misuse of hot button words that somehow seems to fluster so many people nowadays.

The horrible implications of Hot Tub Time Machine (and other time travel movies)

*Spoilers for Hot Tub Time Machine and other time travel movies*

     Okay, I know Hot Tub Time Machine isn't exactly relevant anymore, since it came out a while back, but this can easily apply to many time travel movies, I just use Hot Tub Time Machine as an example since it is one of the newest to come out.

     In the movie, they travel back in time, and instead of doing what they did when they were that age (since they somehow got turned into their old selves), they do what they want, and one guy stays back in time, while the others get sent back to the present day. Turns out they changed the future, but for the better. Everyone's lives turned from shit to awesomeness. So happily ever after right?

     No. This time travel scenario really has some horrible implications. This isn't even going into the ethics of going back in time to change how history works out, because that is too obvious and overdone. What I am going to touch up on isn't the act of changing history, but the changed history itself.

     Just think about it. Let's take John Cusack's character Adam. He is miserable, suffering through a bitter divorce, and all that stuff. During the past, he runs into this awesome girl, April, that he didn't meet during his regular past. They totally click, and after fucking with history, they end up happily married in the new present. What's so bad about that?

     Again, just think about it. Imagine you meet the perfect girl. You two just click, and even though it sounds cliche, you know that you are meant to be together, because you two will live happily ever after. Wouldn't you want to be married to her instead of the bitch you divorced? Well yeah, but you would want to enjoy the time with her. When Adam returns to the future, he is completely unaware that he is married to April. After the initial shock, he is completely relieved that they are married. But the problem is HE DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING!

     He doesn't remember how they met back up after they had to part ways, he doesn't remember dating her, the proposal, the wedding, the honeymoon... you get where I'm going. Those are some of the best moments of your life, and even though your new future is totally going to be better than the old divorce future, you still have no memory of the happiest parts of your life. If I couldn't remember anything about my marriage, I would be so fucking depressed.

     A lot of movies do this. In Back to the Future,  Marty McFly goes back into time, and changes history, but at least it isn't as awful as in Hot Tub Time Machine. He makes sure his parents still get married, so he can obviously still be born, but he makes his fathers confidence rise to the point where he becomes a successful science-fiction writer. Sure, that is tampering with the past, but the thing that makes this scenario better is that Marty's life was pretty good before the change. He had a girlfriend, his family was normal, albeit somewhat poor, and his father didn't have as good self-esteem. Also, Marty doesn't change the course of his life too drastically. He still has to go to school, he will just be a little wealthier. It doesn't give us the intricacies of what exactly changes in his life, but it seems for the most part, the same. The only fucked up thing is how Biff pretty much got turned into a monkey-man-slave hybrid to Marty's father. Seriously, he may have been a complete bully, but no one deserves to turn into... that...

    Who knows what memories Marty missed out on by changing history though. Maybe he won the National Spelling B, maybe he got to bang the hottest girl in school before he met his current girlfriend. Regardless, his life didn't change too much from the history changes, so it isn't as much an issue.

    Bring up any history-changing time travel movie, and this easily becomes an issue. Honestly, the only movie that I have seen that seems like they did it right was the The Butterfly Effect, but that movie sucked. When he changes history, all the memories get forced into his head, kind of like memory rape. It's intense enough to give him bloody noses. You suddenly have all the memories that you should have experienced in the new timeline. Of course, this scenario begs the question if the person keeps the memories they replaced or not. It's been such a long time since i viewed that movie, and I don't remember if they address it or not. I don't care either, because it's a bad movie. They at least did that right.

    The only time travel concepts I think works well is the idea that traveling back in the past is part of the same timeline. You are not changing anything because that happened in your past too. The only movie I can think of off the top of my head that uses this version of time travel is "Dexter's Laboratory: Ego Trip" and I know that is an obscure reference. Basically, Dexter Time Travels, does shit, goes back to present time, and he seems himself doing something he does in the beginning of the movie. One timeline, where the time travel is supposed  to happen, and you cannot change anything. It kind of goes along the idea of fate, and whatever happen(s/ed) is destiny, and there is no changing it.

    And there is my rant. It would suck to miss out on so many awesome memories. It's a matter of opinion if those lost memories are worth a better future.



    One more point I just thought of. What about Lou, the guy that stayed in the past and changed the future? Forget that he used his knowledge of history to become a gazillonaire, changed Google's name to "Lougle", and  changed the band to "Motley Lou", and all of that stuff. What exactly does that mean for him? He got to live, let's face it, a pretty awesome life. He abuse the time travel situation, and got to remember all the new and improved things happening to him. What could be bad about that?

    Reliving your life with the knowledge of your old life. Imagine having all the knowledge, memories and experiences of your old, shitty life, and then reliving your life with that under your belt. One just doesn't forget a suicide attempt. One doesn't forget the shitty things that happened to you. Not to mention growing up again. If I had to relive my high school years, but with knowledge of everything that happens, I would try to make it much better, but I couldn't forget everything. What people do, how people change. And I can't even tell anyone about all of these things because they don't know the things you know. Those memories are only yours, until they happen again, but they might not even happen again. Imagine getting to a day you remember, and it turns out completely different. Sure, it could be for the better, but that dissonance in your mind would be problematic.

   And what about his mental state? When Lou goes back into time and stays back in time, does his mind revert back to that age? I don't think so. His mind still should age like he never traveled back in time. By the time he is 60, his mind should be 80, or however many years he traveled back. Can you say early Alzheimers? Who knows. Sure, he has the upside of getting to experience and remember a great life, but it will have, or at least should have had a great toll on his mind.

Well that is about it. Let me know what you think!