Saturday, January 5, 2013

"The Portrait of Dorian Gray", and ethics



    This is a paper for an english class I had to write. Even though I wrote it a day before it was do, I was quite pleased with it, or at least I was then. I haven't reread it since. I am posting it here 

     Dorian Gray is a cynical, hedonist, who in the end, is defeated by his hubristic lifestyle, and a possible change of heart. He becomes the culmination of Lord Henry’s philosophies, and it slowly ruins the lives around him, until it starts falling in on him. These philosophies of Lord Henry, and Dorian Gray, basically encompass the idea of l’art pour l’art, or art for art’s sake. The Portrait of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde has a famous preface that is his own take on l’art pour l’art. He argues that art is done for itself, is true in form, free from morals, and other statements of that nature. Wilde also claims that "there is no such thing as morals or an immoral book” (Wilde Preface), yet, this story seemingly goes against this idea, by having the characters embody this principle, and show the fall and unraveling of their lives because of it. Though this may seem like this contradicts the preface, that living that kind of life did this, but in reality, we are still putting our opinions and morals into the story. The preface warns us "Those who go beneath the surface do so at their own peril. Those who read the symbol do so at their own peril". We are trying to go beneath the surface, to find this moral that is presented, and we are getting mad that it contradicts what is said in the preface, but we are indeed doing it at our own peril. There is no contradiction between the preface and the novel, because, as disclaimers do, it warns us about what humans natural do when given a piece of art, and we try to attribute more to it then there is actually there. In The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde, the ideas and concepts presented in the preface do not contradict the rest of the novel, through its defining of art, and more specifically, novels.

     When discussing topics like art and morality, it is hard not to get into general philosophy, since they are essentially one in the same. People can talk and debate about philosophy almost endlessly, and enjoy it too. We can see this take place a lot in the novel as well, between Lord Henry, Dorian Gray, and Basil Hallward. Lord Henry’s philosophies are basically what cause the rest of the book. He is the epitome of the preface. Many times throughout the book, he will monologue about his ideas on beauty, society, art, and other topics. One example of this is when Henry defends himself against Basil during an argument, “I make a great difference between people. I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects” (Wilde 11). To tie that quote in with the preface, we have this line “Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault. Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are cultivated. For these there is hope” (Preface), which explains Henry’s and Dorian’s friendship really well. Throughout the book, Dorian Grey is described as incredibly beautiful. At first, he is considered innocent, but with Henry’s influence, and a mystical wish, he remains beautiful as his soul becomes dark. According to the preface, Dorian’s dark soul should not matter, because he is beautiful. Henry chooses him as a friend because of his beauty, and since he is finding Dorian’s inner beauty because of his outer beauty, he is doing well. Lord Henry even explains this. After learning about Dorian’s background, he says “Yes; it was an interesting background. It posed the lad, made him more perfect as it were” (33). Even though Dorian has such a complex and dark background, he is still beautiful to Henry. And when Dorian leads his own life down a spiraling path, Henry still continues to watch and approve of what he does. In this essence, there is no contradiction between the preface and novel.

     Basil Hallward is a character that also embodies the preface, but in a different way. While Henry is the preface in almost every way, Basil is the opposite. He detests almost everything Henry says. The only connection to the preface he has is him with his art. Basil becomes so obsessed with Dorian, his beauty, and the art he wants to make, that it will eventually put a strain on their relationship. Basil explains to Henry “What the invention of oil-painting was to the Venetians… and the face of Dorian Gray will some day be to me…his personality has suggested to me an entirely new manner of art” (12). This idea fits in with several ideas in the preface. The first line says “The artist is the creator of beautiful things” (preface), and since Dorian is a beautiful man, he is a creator of beautiful things. But it isn’t only that, it is much more. Basil is so captivated by Dorian, that on a metaphysical level, he believes he created a new form of art. “The critic is he who can translate into another manner or a new material his impression of beautiful things” (preface), and that is exactly what Basil, at least believes he does. Basil is consumed by the beauty of Dorian, the portrait almost captures that essence of beauty, and Basil becomes the aforementioned critic. This connection between the preface and novel mirrors what Oscar Wilde is trying to accomplish. Wilde’s preface presents the idea that he has seen the true essence of art, or at least just literary forms, and in writing this books that is all about the preface, creates the art that the preface mentions. Wilde creates a book where l’art pour l’art is the main theme, and this book is in the same vain as its story. The complexity here almost borders on meta-fiction. Through this part of the preface and novel, we see that there again, is no contradiction between the novel and preface.

     One of the biggest things, and the most controversial about this topic, is the concept of morality, and its connection to the book. How can a book that claims art for art’s sake is correct, then show the same idea ruin the lives of many people, be right? Dorian, Henry, and Basil all believe in l’art pour l’art in some way, shape or form, and it ruins the lives of two of them. Basil dies because of the principle, even though it is because Dorian’s own personal take on the idea, rather than Basil’s take. But you could argue that Basil’s philosophy on it lead him to the point of his own death, because if he wasn’t so obsessed with Dorian’s beauty, and the creation of this “new form” of art, he would never have created the cursed portrait, and introduced him to Lord Henry, who believes in the most extreme version of art for art’s sake, that lead Dorian down a spiraling path that leads him to kill Basil. Not only does Basil die from Dorian’s hands, but so does Dorian himself. If Dorian never went down this path, which leads to the magical painting of him, he never would have gone mad and stabbed the portrait, which kills him. The only one that comes out unharmed is Lord Henry, and we do not find out what becomes of him after their deaths. But the way Lord Henry shrugs off everything else, one can speculate that it wouldn’t affect him much. The whole story might even entertain Henry. This whole book is morally corrupt, and it is all because of what the preface says about art, or so it may seem to many people.

     To tackle this issue, you need to compare and contrast the preface, and the concept of morality. Morality, or more commonly referred to in the philosophy world, ethics, is a widely debated topic. There is no one set definition, nor any set of answers to the many questions ethics poses. Ethics is commonly divided into three sub-categories: meta-ethics, normative ethics and applied ethics. Applied ethics is how people can achieve their moral goals in specific situations. Normative ethics is the moral questions people ask when they are thinking about how they should act. Meta-ethics is trying to understand the metaphysical concept of ethics, or how we define ethics in general. Meta-ethics is what applies the most to this dilemma.

     Every reader of a book has their own set of moral beliefs, and why they believe it, or how they came to that point, also differs. This is why people get different responses out of reading a novel, because they want to inflict their morals onto the supposed moral of the story. Though this is great, because it leads to intimate discussions of a novel, when trying to figure out what the author intended, it is a little different in the case of this particular novel. Right at the beginning, Oscar Wilde gives this particular view on art, and in it, he defines a part of morality, at least in applying it to literature. Wilde states “There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all” (preface), and this statement gives us everything we need to know. Morality, as applied to reading a book, doesn't exist. If we are looking for a moral in a book with supposed bad morals, we are doing it wrong. Wilde is suggesting that people should enjoy art for art’s sake, and like the book if it is well written, or dislike it if it is written poorly. When people are trying to say things like the preface contradicts the novel because it shows that the philosophy of l’art pour l’art is poisonous, and hurts people that believe in it, they are disregarding what he said at the beginning of a novel. This novel is written in the context of Wilde believe in this philosophy, and that is how it is formed. Sure, people can claim there are many readings of a book, but if an author makes a preface stating how his book, or all books should be read, at least applied to his own novel he shouldn't be wrong.

     Through these reason I have explained why the novel and preface do not contradict each other, but there lies a problem in this. As I quoted in the intro, about people reading into the book at their own discretion can apply to this paper too. By looking so deep into this book to defend the preface, it can be considered that I did the same. I went below the surface, and heavily analyzed this book, and in defense of the preface, I violated it. This is not done for art’s sake. So does l’art pour l’art defeat its own purpose? One can certainly argue that. Not only did this paper defeat the preface, but this book somewhat did the same. When The Picture of Dorian Gray first came out, the reception for it was terrible. People hated the book, thought it was slanderous and morally troubling, and overall it was not received well. It has undergone many edits, to the point where most people are not even reading the original version of the book when they read it. Wilde stuck to his belief, and he did “art for art’s sake”, by writing this book, but it didn't turn out well, and he went back on it by editing it multiple times. All this paints a confusing picture on the philosophy, but in the end, it doesn’t really matter. People can argue that l’art pour l’art is good or bad, and people can have many different moral standpoints on any topic they want, but it still doesn’t mean Wilde is wrong in believing his. He sets a book with a confusing preface, and the books follows that preface. It doesn’t matter that the morals in the book are bad, it still is okay in the eyes of Wilde. In the end, this whole topic can be summed up by the last line of the preface.

All art is quite pointless.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Déjà vu

I posted this on my facebook, but it is such a strange, that has left me in such a stupor, that I think it is worth posting on here, so other people can read it.

I just had the weirdest, surreal moment of my life. I am sitting in my bed, lights off, watching Torchwood on my laptop. It's really late, and I shouldn't be up because I have to wake up early in the morning. This inevitably will make me exhausted tomorrow. Because of how long I was looking at the screen, everything around me is completely black. I look up and stare for a few seconds, expecting to see my room back at my house. I envision it with my stare, but then it fades to my room in my apartment. Maybe it is because I have done this same thing, watching stuff on my laptop late at night while it is dark, so many times that I just subconsciously thought I was still at home, but it is one of the strangest occurrences that has ever happened to me. Looking up to expect to be in a place you have been all your life, and have it be a place you are barely familiar with. From something you know and understand, to something new and unfamiliar. 

Now I am left lying here, typing this, in a state of disbelief, mind whirling with questions that I can't answer, and may not even have one, wondering what I should do now. Is this what déjà vu feels like? If so, then I never want to feel it again. Because having your reality changed like that makes you... a bit crazy.

Or maybe that's just me.   

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Why the concept of "Swears" doesn't make a lot of sense: A Language analysis

     Something I have thought a lot about recently is language. Language is a weird phenomenon, especially when you get into differences between countries, dialects, accents slang, and other things of that nature. One could discuss topics like this forever if they were inquisitive enough, (or just high).

    What has specifically peaked my interested, and in return, has pissed me off, is the concept of swear words. I am referring to the English language only while writing this, and this could or could not apply to other languages, or even different regions where they have different dialects. I am from the Chicago region, but our language is similar to most of the United States, minus a few different word choices here or there.

    Everyone is taught from an extremely young age that swear words are bad; that we should never say them. As we grow older, we think it makes us look and sound cool to say them, so to do that, and to rebel, we say swear words like crazy. TV and radio stations block most of these words, to the point where only movies, books and video games have them in them, and that is only because they have predetermined ratings that warn us.

    So what is so horrendous about these words, that we should never say them in public, lest we burn in hell, or at least a prison cell? 

    I honestly couldn't tell you. Their "reasoning" is that we shouldn't say these bad words, because these are bad words. Well of course it is doomed to be that way, with that set up. You deem it a bad word, and thus, it must always be a bad word? I don't know. The other rationale is that it means a bad thing, which is just bubkiss. 

    It is bubkiss for a number of reason. Here is a list of the major swearwords (and a few other words that are close)
  • Ass
  • Bitch
  • Damn
  • Fuck
  • Shit
  • Cunt
  • Fag
    Let's look at the first one, which is ass. Ass is a swearword, yet it can still be said on TV and radio, so it is consider not as bad. A little kid can still get in trouble for saying this word though. What does it mean? It is a synonym for butt, stupid person, or mean person, (or a donkey). So we can say butt over and over again, and it's fine, but if we say ass, it is suddenly bad. What sense does that make?

    Now look at bitch. It means female dog, bad/mean woman, or some variation of bad/mean woman. I am not sure if this can be said on TV or radio, but I think it makes less sense. Let's assume you are not talking about a female dog. Why are you penalized for calling someone a bad/mean woman? You could literally say how horrible this one woman is in the most lengthy and intelligent way, and that isn't as bad as saying bitch. Honestly, there should be more focus on being insulted rather than "saying a bad word". That can apply to pretty much any of these swear words.

    Shit I think makes the least sense. It is a synonym of poo, or figuratively means something bad.  I know this one cannot be said on radio or TV. For the love of science, why? Why can't I say a word that literally means poo, or a bad occurrence? If I want to say on the radio how bad my life has been recently, I can't say "My life has been so shitty recently", yet I can say "my life has been horrible. It has been terrible, torturous, etc etc. The latter sounds more graphic, and saying "shitty" sounds more realistic in my opinion. Yet somehow that is bad. Or even better, if I see some dog poop on the ground, I could get in trouble for saying "Look at that shit!", but saying "look at that fecomatter" is completely fine!

    What is with that? I don't get that at all. At least if  you talk about a word like fuck, that makes sense. It has so many meanings, that it can mean any number of bad things. Fuck is the only word in the English language, that can be used as an adjective, noun, verb and adjective. You can make a complete sentence with it too. Fuck fucking fuckers, FUCK! With the versatility of the word, it makes sense that it is considered bad. Well, we are 1 out of 4 for swear words.

    Now I am going to to skip damn, and get to words which I don't technically believe are swear words, but are still considered bad words. Cunt and Fag. Cunt is a synonym for vagina, or bad/mean woman. Forget the misogynistic aspects of this word, we are blocking the the use of the word vagina. Granted, I wouldn't want my kid running around screaming cunt or vagina, but that is what it comes down to. I guess this is a word that you shouldn't even have any use for until you are older.

   Lastly, fag, which has the biggest shitstorm attached with it. It is a derogatory word, which originally meant a bundle of sticks, but now means a gay person, or much more loosely used as a bad person. People bring up the point "If you call someone a fag, that really isn't gay, you are bringing both him and the entire gay community down!" and other crap like that. I am not going to get into that much, because that just starts a flame war, but this one somewhat makes sense, though not in the normal sense. It shouldn't be a swear word just because you are calling someone a synonym for the word gay. If you want to know my stance on that debate, just watch this South Park clip. It gives the sense of what I think about it.  (http://youtu.be/H7C0vd-L5lg

    What it all should boil down to is not that the word is a "swear word", but the fact that you are using a word or statement against someone; an insult. If I say my ass hurts, I shouldn't get in trouble. If I take a poop, say that my shit smelled, I shouldn't get in trouble. What really should be the issue is personally attacking someone. If I call someone a cunt, they shouldn't be offended at the word cunt, but the fact that I am personally verbally attacking them. If a game gets called a fag over Modern Warfare, they shouldn't be mad that someone called them gay, but if anything, be mad some douchenozzle is insulting them in the first place.

    Is it an insult to be called gay? It shouldn't be. Is it an insult to be called a vagina? It shouldn't be. "Oh boy, you called me gay. You are so clever. I am so offended, because I am not gay at all. How could you even think that? I am totally straight!"

    Really, this is what the emphasis should be put on. Instead of teaching kids these lists of words that they shouldn't say, we should just teach them fucking manners, and how not to verbally attack people to begin with. Then if we can accomplish that, then maybe we can begin to deconstruct the misuse of hot button words that somehow seems to fluster so many people nowadays.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The horrible implications of Hot Tub Time Machine (and other time travel movies)

*Spoilers for Hot Tub Time Machine and other time travel movies*

     Okay, I know Hot Tub Time Machine isn't exactly relevant anymore, since it came out a while back, but this can easily apply to many time travel movies, I just use Hot Tub Time Machine as an example since it is one of the newest to come out.

     In the movie, they travel back in time, and instead of doing what they did when they were that age (since they somehow got turned into their old selves), they do what they want, and one guy stays back in time, while the others get sent back to the present day. Turns out they changed the future, but for the better. Everyone's lives turned from shit to awesomeness. So happily ever after right?

     No. This time travel scenario really has some horrible implications. This isn't even going into the ethics of going back in time to change how history works out, because that is too obvious and overdone. What I am going to touch up on isn't the act of changing history, but the changed history itself.

     Just think about it. Let's take John Cusack's character Adam. He is miserable, suffering through a bitter divorce, and all that stuff. During the past, he runs into this awesome girl, April, that he didn't meet during his regular past. They totally click, and after fucking with history, they end up happily married in the new present. What's so bad about that?

     Again, just think about it. Imagine you meet the perfect girl. You two just click, and even though it sounds cliche, you know that you are meant to be together, because you two will live happily ever after. Wouldn't you want to be married to her instead of the bitch you divorced? Well yeah, but you would want to enjoy the time with her. When Adam returns to the future, he is completely unaware that he is married to April. After the initial shock, he is completely relieved that they are married. But the problem is HE DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING!

     He doesn't remember how they met back up after they had to part ways, he doesn't remember dating her, the proposal, the wedding, the honeymoon... you get where I'm going. Those are some of the best moments of your life, and even though your new future is totally going to be better than the old divorce future, you still have no memory of the happiest parts of your life. If I couldn't remember anything about my marriage, I would be so fucking depressed.

     A lot of movies do this. In Back to the Future,  Marty McFly goes back into time, and changes history, but at least it isn't as awful as in Hot Tub Time Machine. He makes sure his parents still get married, so he can obviously still be born, but he makes his fathers confidence rise to the point where he becomes a successful science-fiction writer. Sure, that is tampering with the past, but the thing that makes this scenario better is that Marty's life was pretty good before the change. He had a girlfriend, his family was normal, albeit somewhat poor, and his father didn't have as good self-esteem. Also, Marty doesn't change the course of his life too drastically. He still has to go to school, he will just be a little wealthier. It doesn't give us the intricacies of what exactly changes in his life, but it seems for the most part, the same. The only fucked up thing is how Biff pretty much got turned into a monkey-man-slave hybrid to Marty's father. Seriously, he may have been a complete bully, but no one deserves to turn into... that...

    Who knows what memories Marty missed out on by changing history though. Maybe he won the National Spelling B, maybe he got to bang the hottest girl in school before he met his current girlfriend. Regardless, his life didn't change too much from the history changes, so it isn't as much an issue.

    Bring up any history-changing time travel movie, and this easily becomes an issue. Honestly, the only movie that I have seen that seems like they did it right was the The Butterfly Effect, but that movie sucked. When he changes history, all the memories get forced into his head, kind of like memory rape. It's intense enough to give him bloody noses. You suddenly have all the memories that you should have experienced in the new timeline. Of course, this scenario begs the question if the person keeps the memories they replaced or not. It's been such a long time since i viewed that movie, and I don't remember if they address it or not. I don't care either, because it's a bad movie. They at least did that right.

    The only time travel concepts I think works well is the idea that traveling back in the past is part of the same timeline. You are not changing anything because that happened in your past too. The only movie I can think of off the top of my head that uses this version of time travel is "Dexter's Laboratory: Ego Trip" and I know that is an obscure reference. Basically, Dexter Time Travels, does shit, goes back to present time, and he seems himself doing something he does in the beginning of the movie. One timeline, where the time travel is supposed  to happen, and you cannot change anything. It kind of goes along the idea of fate, and whatever happen(s/ed) is destiny, and there is no changing it.

    And there is my rant. It would suck to miss out on so many awesome memories. It's a matter of opinion if those lost memories are worth a better future.



    One more point I just thought of. What about Lou, the guy that stayed in the past and changed the future? Forget that he used his knowledge of history to become a gazillonaire, changed Google's name to "Lougle", and  changed the band to "Motley Lou", and all of that stuff. What exactly does that mean for him? He got to live, let's face it, a pretty awesome life. He abuse the time travel situation, and got to remember all the new and improved things happening to him. What could be bad about that?

    Reliving your life with the knowledge of your old life. Imagine having all the knowledge, memories and experiences of your old, shitty life, and then reliving your life with that under your belt. One just doesn't forget a suicide attempt. One doesn't forget the shitty things that happened to you. Not to mention growing up again. If I had to relive my high school years, but with knowledge of everything that happens, I would try to make it much better, but I couldn't forget everything. What people do, how people change. And I can't even tell anyone about all of these things because they don't know the things you know. Those memories are only yours, until they happen again, but they might not even happen again. Imagine getting to a day you remember, and it turns out completely different. Sure, it could be for the better, but that dissonance in your mind would be problematic.

   And what about his mental state? When Lou goes back into time and stays back in time, does his mind revert back to that age? I don't think so. His mind still should age like he never traveled back in time. By the time he is 60, his mind should be 80, or however many years he traveled back. Can you say early Alzheimers? Who knows. Sure, he has the upside of getting to experience and remember a great life, but it will have, or at least should have had a great toll on his mind.

Well that is about it. Let me know what you think!

    

Friday, March 23, 2012

How I Met Your Mother: Theories on who is "The Mother"

First post in a while. I think this is a worthy topic to write about before the show comes to a close.

I believe that Ted's future wife has been shown on screen, and they have seen each other, though we haven't been introduced yet.

*Obviously some spoilers will be said along with my theory, involving some of the newest episodes.* *Edit at bottom to address newer episodes.*

In S3:E12, the episode called "No Tomorrow", we have the first major information released about who the mother is. Ted says that she was also at that party. The yellow umbrella belonged to her, and he got it. Unfortunately for Ted, they never met that night (or fortunately, since Ted said he had to grow into the person that he needed to be).

The few continuity errors aside, I've learned that nothing happens in this show by mistake. There are tons of little things placed here and there that hint to, foreshadow, and reference many things. One really subtle example of this is in S4:E10 "The Fight", where Marshall says that he will be cutting turkey with a lightsaber in 3 years or so. When they fast forward three years to Thanksgiving, Marshall says "Mom, Lily, fantastic job!" he never mentions his dad, and you never see him. This is potentially not showing Marshall's dad because he is going to pass away later in the show. That is so subtle that it flies over most people's heads.

Back to "No Tomorrow", during Ted's semi-drunken panic, he runs into a girl. They look at each other for a second, Ted apolgizes. The mystery girl smiles and says "Nah, that's okay." and walks away.

Potential First Encounter



















(I took this using "prt sc" off of Netflix so sorry if the quality is lackluster. I am not sure of many other ways to do this)

This takes up a few seconds at most, but there is absolutely no reason to have this scene otherwise. That is enough time to have a witty one-liner, funny action, or something else, but instead they decided to put it in here. It has to have a greater purpose. My theory is that she is Ted's future wife.

If that isn't the case, then she will at least be brought back for something else. That, or the writers used her as an exit strategy. With a plot line like this, if they get canceled/don't get a renewal, they at least want a somewhat complete story arch. If the show didn't make it past the first season, Ted would have gotten Robin at the end, and she would have been the mother. By the end of season 2, the writers didn't know if their show got renewed for another season, so they would have ended it on a funny note. Ted is single, and out on the prowl with Barney, and Barney starts his hit saying "LEGEN" and it would have cut off there.

Victoria and Stella were both default mothers if the show didn't get renewed. It is possible that if season 3 would have been the last season, they would have used her to be the mother.

To combat the idea that Ted says he never saw his wife until he saw her ankle at that lesbian's apartment, I will just say that he never knew that was her, or doesn't remember bumping into his wife like that.

As far as that goes, I think it is well enough explained, but I want to list a few other theories I have here.

-Ted's future wife is the woman who had a blind date with him made by the company "Love Solutions". In S1:E21, he is supposed to go out with a "perfect girl", but he ditched the blind date to go out with Robin. This woman could potentially be his future wife.

- This one is lengthy. Ted has said in the later seasons time after time that he met his wife at Barney's wedding. I think it is pretty safe to assume that Barney, or someone Barney knows have no relation to Ted's wife. Now, when you go to a wedding, unless you are someone's date, you either know the bride or the groom, and you at least know of the people who's wedding you are going to. It's not impossible, but I think it won't be the case, unless you go by this theory

http://whosright.com/poll/himym-is-barney%E2%80%99s-half-sister-ted%E2%80%99s-wife

This theory basically says that Barney's dad, Jerry, has a daughter, Carly, who is in college, and we haven't met yet. I'll admit this sounds very plausible, but I'd think there is something in the bro code that says one bro shouldn't go after another bro's sister, such as how Barney couldn't go after Ted's sister. Even though they are half siblings, I'd think it still applies. Also the argument "Uncle Barney and Aunt Robin" can't be too accurate because Marshall and Lily have those titles too.

They may find a loophole around this, such as Barney barely knowing her, so it doesn't count, or Barney's classic exception "Unless she's hot." Knowing that almost every character on TV is attractive, this isn't far from the realm of possibility, but I personally don't think it will happen this way. It's a possible and highly believed theory, but let us go on assuming this theory is incorrect.

Anyway, that leaves the brides invitees. The bride has to know Ted's wife, or know someone that is close to Ted's wife, like Ted's wife's roommate, who Ted dated. So far, we have had three main candidates for Barney's future wife:

- Robin
- Nora
- Quinn

It's safe to assume that Ted's wife has some relation to one of these girls. Robin and Barney have an on and off again relationship, which makes it so we don't know if they will end up together. We know Ted denounced Robin's and his agreement on getting married if they are both single at age 40 in S7:E18 "Karma". With that, Ted pretty much has given up on Robin, so Barney is free to end up marrying her. I highly doubt Robin knows Ted's future wife because if she did, we should have heard of her within 7 seasons. If I am to fully believe this, it leads to the conclusion that Barney and Robin are not going to get married, which I find likely.

That just leaves Nora and Quinn. Since Nora and Barney broke up, we haven't seen or heard of Nora, so this is leaning more towards Quinn. Quinn has blond hair, and so does Cindy's (Ted's old girlfriend that turned out to be lesbian, and roommates to Ted's future wife) lesbian wife. It's a stretch, but it could be possible that they are related, and that is why she is at Barney's wedding. I'm more of throwing this part out here as food for though.

Also, Barney shows that he really wants to marry this girl. He wants to marry her, to stop her from stripping, which is shown in S7:E17 "No Pressure". He clearly has feelings for her, and with time running out until the end of this show, unless he ends up with Robin or Nora, we don't have much time to be introduced to who he marries. So it is likely that Barney will end up will one of these girls. My belief that it will be Quinn.

Quinn and Barney get married, Quinn or someone Quinn knows has some relation with Ted's future wife, they meet at the wedding.

The last theory that I believe is possible is not even a theory on who the mother is, but what her name is. In S1:E9 "Belly Full of Turkey", Ted meets a "burlesque entertainment artist" otherwise known as a stripper, and she first introduces herself as Amber. She then changes her name to Tracy. Future Ted then says "And that kids is the true story of how I met your mother!" and the kids both scream "WHAT?!". People theorize that if the kid's mother wasn't named Tracy, they wouldn't have been so shocked. If my dad told that story, but called the stripper anything else other than my mom's real name, I would call bullshit immediately. Because of this, people think the mom's name is Tracy.

I apologize to anyone who is named Tracy, but I do not hope this is the case, because I am not really fond of that name.

Lastly, some other theories that I have read that I will at least partially address:
- Adoption Theory
- Not Ted's Kids Theory
- Everything isn't Real Theory
- Mother Is Dead Theory

Until the most recent episode, the adoption theory seemed somewhat possible, albeit unlikely. We learned in S7:E20 "Trilogy Time", that Ted has a baby girl that he has to watch for the night. Unless he is baby sitting for someone else's kid, which is highly unlikely, this shows that he does have a kid of his own. Also, the comment of "taking after his mother" would seem out of place unless her mother is Ted's wife. It's unlikely that anyone would make a comment about an adopted baby looking a lot like the mother that adopted her.

As far as the "Not Ted's Kids Theory", I guess we don't have much to disprove this. Sure, as I stated in the last paragraph, Ted does have a kid, but we can't link them to the kids that Future Ted is talking to. This could just be a story to someone else's kids. They do exclaim at one point "DAD!", though I don't remember the specific episode. This seems to say that this theory is false, but he could just be a "father figure" to them. As I will talk about while addressing the "Everything Isn't Real Theory", this just doesn't seem like it will happen.

"Everything Isn't Real Theory". This theory is that Ted talking to his kids about how he met their mother is all a lie. He has become so delusional and lonely that he is addressing the kids he never had. Sort of like in S7:E12 "Symphony of Illumination", Robin addresses her kids that do not exist.

Without having proof, since you can't really disprove an abstract notion like this, I can still claim with some certainty that this will not happen. This show isn't Lost, or some sci-fy/thriller movie, or any M. Night Shyamalan movie. This is a fairly straight forward Sitcom. Sitcoms almost never have an absurd twist like this. This theory, if true, would ruin the show for many people, and piss everyone off for waiting this long to hear it.

I know "Roseanne" had a bat shit crazy ending, but that is because the writers lost their minds. The show was dropping in ratings like crazy, so they started to pull out all the gimmicks to try and increase ratings. I sincerely doubt the writers and producers of HIMYM will do this.

"Mother Is Dead Theory". Same as the last paragraphs, though we can't prove anything, I seriously doubt the show will end like that. That is way too dark for a sitcom.

I doubt this will get many views, but if anyone reads this, and has any comments, thoughts, rebuttals that completely destroy this argument, I'd love to hear it.

Some youtube videos that go along with my theory.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4D-4bjMSZtQ&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNTJKzcrO2M


*Edit 05/22/12*

Huge spoiler here. In S7:23/24 "The Magicians Code parts 1 & 2", we get some huge information. They finally reveal who Barney gets married to. In part 2, Barney proposes to Quinn. At the end of part 2, it is revealed that Barney is getting married to Robin, through the flashback they show. They have several flashblacks to the wedding. I am rewatching every episode that features a flashback to try and get any additional info I can.

The first flashback is in S6:E1 "Big Days". This is the first time Future Ted says that he met his wife at a wedding. It is never stated in that episode who's wedding it is, but we do know he is the best man to. It is shown in S6:E24 "Challenge Accepted" that he the best man to Barney Stinson. By this episode, it still is never officially stated that he meets his wife at this wedding. Future Ted just says "at a wedding" and then it switches to the wedding. It is shown one last time in "The Magicians Code" where Barney's wife is Robin.

No time throughout the dialogue is it stated that he meets his wife at Barney's wedding. It is just inferred through the scene switching that it is. It is possible that it happens at a different wedding, possibly to increase the length of the show. Normally, my skeptical self would say that this is possible, but since Barney and Robin are marrying each other, I don't know of many weddings that he would go to after theirs. The only other weddings I could possibly think are options is Stella's wedding, or Victoria's wedding.

Stella is the woman that left Ted at the alter for her ex-husband. This infers that they got a divorce before Ted met her, so if they are in love again, they can get married again. Even though it is stated at Ted and Stella's wedding that "You never invite an ex to your wedding", things work out completely differently. Ted invited Robin and Tony to his wedding in S4:E5 "Shelter Island". Sure, things ended horribly in that episode, but Ted states that everything that happens to him turned him into the person he needed to be to meet his future wife, so one could construe that it was a good thing this happened. In gratitude, Stella could still invite Ted to her wedding.

One last possible reason that it could be her wedding, is that a lot of times, the opposite of what is stated or believed, happens, but then it is for the better/turns better. This wedding helped shape Ted to what he needed to be to meet his wife, Marshall and Lily's break up ultimately led to them getting married anyway, and in "The Magician's Code", there is going to be a good reason for Ted saying he doesn't want to steal a bride, then steal a bride anyway.

Or, somehow, using some of the previously stated reasons, Ted will go to Victoria's wedding, after their inevitable break up happens, and he will meet her there. Victoria and Ted will break up, her ex will take her back, and they will get married. He will go to the wedding, and meet his future wife.

Both of these, I still think are very unlikely, but still possible. Again, I put these theories out there as food for thought. More than likely, this wedding is the correct wedding.

What I now believe, and is very likely, is the Carly theory. Robin almost positively won't know Ted's future wife, so unless we meet someone else that might know the future wife, the only other potential is Ted's half sister Carly. I doubt the girl will be some random girl at the wedding, because there has to be some connection, unless she is just another "+1", which is unlikely. I doubt that anything seriously bad will happen at Barney and Robin's wedding.

The other theories are still possible, but with the recent developments, I believe the "Barney's Sister AKA Carly" theory is the most sound.

Edit: 3/6/13: Well, I was partially right in theory. It wasn't anyone that knew Robin or Barney that have already been introduced. It wasn't Carly though. They addressed that, Ted and Carly had their fling, and the episodes kept coming out.

Most people were shocked that HIMYM released such detailed information on how Ted meets his wife. In one of the newer episodes, Ted says that if it wasn't for him running into his lesbian ex, he would never have found the band to play at Robin and Barney's wedding, where he meets the bassist, and they fall in love.

This leaves many of us wondering how the rest of this season to play out. Will there be one more season like they say, will the season end with them finally meeting, or will it end with their wedding? Is there a whole story in how they finally talked to each other?

That is anyone's guess, but there isn't much to create theories on anymore, unless you want to make more tie ins. Maybe this girl is still the "perfect woman" from the dating service, or maybe she is the bump girl. But we know in good detail, how he is going to meet her, we just haven't seen it yet.

I wasn't the most correct, but I found it fun to think so much about it. I'll leave this post up just for the sake of reading it for fun. Maybe it will spark more discussion, give you a bit of insight on other aspects of the show, or just be a good read. I thank whoever reads this, because it makes me feel better about geeking out on something like this.

Get the first season of HIMYM here! HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER SEASON 1 BY HOW I MET YOUR MOTHE (DVD) [3 DISCS]

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

A Day In The Life of Gastly

(So this is something I wrote a while ago too, but I just liked it so much that I decided to repost it here. No changes were necessary)

*Charmander and Squirtle are talking*
Charmander: Char, char charmander!
Squirtle: Squirtel Squirtle!
C: Charmander charmander, char char!
S:Squirtel?
C: Char char char, Charmander charmander charmander, Char Charmander charmander char! char char charmander char char char! Charmander charmander char char char, charmander chaaaarr! char charmander charmander char! Char char char charmander!
S: Squirt, le, Squirtle squirtle!
*Gastly floats on in*
Gastly: GASTLY!
C: char char charmander char?!
G:GASTLYYY!
S: Squrit, Squirtle squritle squirtle!
G: GHAASSTLYYYY!
C: Char char char char, charmander charmander char char charmander char char!
G:... *sticks tounge out*
C:Charrrrrrrr! Charmander charmander!
S: Squirtle squirtle!
G: GASTLY!!!!!!!!
C: char charmander, char char char chamander char char charmander char char char char.
S: Squirtle squirtle. Squirtle squirt EL!
*Charmander and Squirtle leave*
G: *sighs* gastly....

So for those not fluent in pokemon, I'll translate the conversation. It roughly translates into this.

*Charmander and Squirtle are talking*
Charmander: Yo, Squirtlle whats up?
Squirtle: Oh hey, nothing much.
C: So I just beat some pidgeys ass!
S: Really?
C: Yeah, it was getting all up in my grill, so I was like EMBER BITCH, but it flew out of the way and used gust! I was like bitch no my fire gonna go out! So it decided to come and finish me, but I was like BITCH GOTCHA! Tailed whipped that motha fucka and finished it off with another ember! i whooped it's ass!
S: hoLY shit! You showed it who's boss!
*Gastly floats on in*
Gastly: GASTLY!
C: Wait, what the fuck?!
G:GASTLYYY!
S: Where did you come from Gastly!
G: GHAASSTLYYYY!
C: We have been through this before, stop saying your name over and over again! It's fucking annoying!
G:... *sticks tounge out*
C: Aww man, why youd go and do that?!
S: Aww, that's nastay!
G: GASTLY!!!!!!!!
C: Man, come on squirtle, lets hit it before Gastly tries to talk to us some more.
S: Man, I couldn't agree more. Let's split!
*Charmander and Squirtle leave*
G: *sighs* gastly....